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I was christened Abby on May 16, 2009. These photos show the big party SGA gave me. Look at all my guests! There was a drum roll and my unveiling, and a kazoo band and a cake with my picture and little pink party favors and door prizes… It’s hard to be a celebrity, but I think I handle it quite well. I did get sick after leaving the christening. A good SGA Samaritan said it was my alternator, but I think it was just all the excitement from the party.

* Handler’s Note: Abby thought it best not to use real names in many cases, especially when referring to her “handlers”—those people responsible for driving her and administering programs.